Oh Christ, What Now?

Hopefully the sky won’t fall tomorrow. 

robo-scheduled to say happy friggin BDay, dammit.

Oh Christ, I may not be the Quisatz Haderach [Do you know what that means?], (Or am I???) but I sure as shit can see a complete waste of time in these FaceBook “Quizzes”/”Tests” that claim to pry insights into the light with 5 or 7 multiple-choice questions, many of which have just plain ‘poar [...]

Oh, let’s see, we had near-psychotic reactions to poorly stitched assumptions in late may. (Should have called the 5-0, but I didn’t-0) I put up with waaay too much crap in relationships, I proved that again somehow. At least this time I resolved that since they threw gasoline on the bridge, they sure as frack [...]

Write your congressman..  some SPAM.
If you’re like me, you get anywhere from 10 to 25 ‘legitimate’ marketing emails per day, and another 25 to 100 SPAM.
In order to fix the root of the problem, we’d have to truly ‘re-engineer’ how email gets sent & passed ON THE SERVERS. No, you cannot touch this stuff firsthand, [...]

Yes, butt plug
We’re hoping Google will index the bejesus out of that, and we’ll climb to the top of the index for Butt Plug.

Okay, seems like we pissed off the cam whores- they managed to INFECT MY SITE!
Slimy motherfrackers….  if I ever met a malware author in a dark alley…   bring the shop vac, it would NOT be pretty.

Yes, that’s right, the economy is down, stuff sucks in general, so they’re on the offensive again!
Fat ugly men in basements of East Bumfrack, Wisconsin, masquerading as hot twenty-something blond chicks, sending you blind messages from unknown email addresses.
Hurry, give them your credit card info before it’s too late! You’ll miss out on the [...]

Nothing to do but hope next year sucks less, right?

If you simply don’t know, for frack sake, admit it. It’s far simpler than “dazzling us with bullshit”, and it’s far more genuine. Stop dancing around the fact, and just admit it; “I Don’t Know”.  Simple enough?  Need counseling in order to achieve this lofty goal?

(Head Up the Butt) Disorder affects millions of americans, and is typically transmitted by verbal encounter, so be careful and don’t listen to idiots ! (Click for even larger version)

[One of our main contributors] Once again imagining that I can see the future; both with a romantic involvement and an image of some other details working out.
And let’s re-offer to bake your noodle, scroll down to the post on 7/7/08 about our eyes seeing the future- or our minds trying.
- And for anyone trying [...]

[Guy walks into girlfriend's apt, closes the door. Bald cat walks across the kitchen, exits to hall..]
“Honey, I think you misunderstood me when I asked if you’d be willing to try shaving your pu**y…”

You can make the choice to not understand it when it’s implied & outright declared 4 times in a 20-minute conversation, but.. Maybe you have better luck shaking the goods out of your car mechanic via interrogation  [I doubt it!], but it won’t work with me. At some point, talking about it takes almost as [...]

Okay, folks, now WHAT did I say about just play with your schmeckie for a few weeks until they work out the kinks? I was right!! The 3G network issues frustrating 3g iPhone users worldwide is exactly what I was talking about. ha ha

If this feature is widely adopted, you cannot cut your wiener with the table saw anymore…   Thank god. 
See it at the usual place: youtube.com
No, I don’t think you can buy them yet.   (RME= Rolling My Eyes)

Killer robots deployed on various frontiers around the world..  Y’all remember those Terminator movies? These don’t have their own wheels [yet], but we’re getting closer.
Killer Robots Story at Tomshardware.com Video at YouTube*..
Yes, yes, we all wanted one as a kid, to make mincemeat of the bully once he rounded a certain corner, but really? [...]

Damn, that’s one nasty machine… Watch it at  youtube.com*
Can I have one? >:-D
No, wait, THIS one.. youtube.com*

What to do when someone just can’t manage to be respectful, no matter how hard you truly try? Persists in their self-supporting delusion upon reality? I can admit guilt that there’s one I’ve had REAL difficulty just washing my hands of, but I think we’re finally there. Woohoo.
Just leave them to stew in their [...]

It’s four year old data, but… Cars that get 60 mpg ? Really?
http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/gasmileage/
WHERE is my Geo Metro that got 55+ back in 1991? Why aren’t we driving millions of those already, You gas-guzzling, Ozone-depleting noodleheads ? My truth- I get 25MPG with my vehicle required for business, and minimize my trips in [...]

Ever wondered if it was a dream … or something more? Something that had strong multiple feelings riding along with it, giving it more meaning than just a dream… at least to the heart that perceives it. Perhaps suggesting it be classified as a ‘vision”? Perhaps convincing you at that moment that it was- a [...]

Can we just hunt down these people one by one, and choke some shame, guilt, & penitence out of them?
I mean, really, think hard about ALL the time wasted by waiting to download & sift through SPAM, the millions spent trying to prevent SPAM, and the havoc it wreaks, from corporate I.T. centers to dial-up [...]

I/We can imagine a comment [whining?] that we’re just too pessimistic here at OhChristWhatNow. Well, tough! <grin> I/We really do smile and laugh, even while writing this drivel that no one should bother reading. Monday this week did not suck, so there was little to add here. I/We are not all completely unhinged [...]

.. result in things like your own inner collapse after seeing something on TV that reminded you [poignantly] of your romantic past, ready to unexplainedly blubber in front of your friends. Not my fav.  What was that movie where both the M & F leads “erased” their memories of each other, only to have [...]

Our pessimistic friends at http://www.noutopia.com/ have some enjoyable posts.
“Bush McCain McBush BuCain CaBush McCush McBain McSame”
I was using passwords like “shudder” & “dubbya” before he took office… I think we all still have that scared rabbit feeling, no ??
We’re all but circling [...]

Cheaper, snazzier iPhones coming, so we’ll hear about tech junkies sleeping on sidewalks to get the sometime in July. Christ, get a life!! Play with your schmeckie for a few weeks until the demand drops off, maybe save a couple bucks…

Well, Frack, the day’s just been a black hole to my productivity. Too bad one cannot just pull a curtain past your door or cubicle gateway that says “Frack off for today, I’m TRYing to get all the other shit done!”. But, then there would be the one dink that ignores it, sweeps it aside [...]

I work in technology, BUT: Modern computing still doesn’t make sense, in some regards. (1) Things that sound simple, like cutting & pasting text from a PDF into email. Why, gods why, can it not paste it in the same ORDER that it appears in the PDF? It’s just too much to [...]

Oh boy, this woman has had some bad experiences, but it’s posted in good fun, so you gotta go see it.
See the great egress here !
Bummer, they pulled it. I thought it good enough to archive, lol, so look for it here soon.
(Originally http://westernmass.cxxxxxlist.org/w4m/730072351.html)

Okay, so there’s like 2 MILLION viruses for Winblows, aren’t U glad you chose the more popular platform? <snicker>
You can’t go 18 minutes without keeping all the defenses up, because the web is a dangerous place- for YOU. I have witnessed a clean install of XP become infected in that short a time, right before [...]

For the top comedian of our era. A sad day, indeed. I KNEW something was wrong in the universe..
George Carlin died sunday, of heart failure, at 71.
Frack, he was right…
“Although some criticized parts of his later work as too contentious, Mr. Carlin defended the material, insisting that his comedy had always been driven by an [...]

Thank you, AT&T. The ‘In France’ commercial was a marvel, the detail at the end of the dog dragging his ass across the carpet was just too good. From the imagination comes the detail that somewhere off camera is some poor schmoe with a latex glove, who was [we pray] paid a bit extra to [...]

Stumbled across some old joke motivational poster images. This one struck me chuckling.
I’m unique, too.. But yes, that does not ALWAYS make one useful.  Hard truth, straight up.

I used to know someone who was just SO proud that they were a fracked up, malformed adult. This one was capable of horrible outsized anger, and under [...]

Five minute+ run-on message from a customer (Far more info than what is required..) – $0
Annoyance that it’s on the cell line you Specifically asked someone NOT to give to folks – $0
Headache from the details of what they describe in the message – $0
Fact that they failed to leave their phone number (And apparently [...]

…is pointless, obviously. Just another place to bitch about the things that would make you exclaim “Oh, Christ! What Now?!?”. More likely to piss off the mentally unbalanced than ever before (And believe me, I have some not-too-distant experience there). If you can’t handle it, please disregard our Frackin’ bad words & go elsewhere [...]

Please, just shut the Frack up and wait your turn!
Does the phone have to ring every two minutes? If your call couldn’t be answered at 10:32 , WHAT the Frack makes you think that trying again at 10:34 makes sense? This is not a 911 line, for god sake. Nobody gives a shit, but [...]

061808 OhChristWhatNow is finally pushing steam out the stack… Please stand by… Why the hell would we, if you’re too lazy to post something. Why do they bother with an “Under Construction” sign on sites if it’s pretty plain they’re not up to the task of adding content?
Can you tell how difficult it is [...]